Helter Skelter

I needed protection
but I didn't get it
For your self-preservation
Mine was neglected

So sit in your recliner
While I live in a shelter
Go play some more golf
While my life is helter skelter

I never want to see other people again
Just leave me alone
Especially the men

Not all men are bad
But I can't trust that
Only my husband is good
Fortunately I stumbled onto that

So much more I want to write
Much more I have to say
But my brain has stopped working
So maybe another day

Self-pity Quick Sand

At least I've saved them from this mess
Yet my kids are still depressed

Why me is all I can think
Sometimes I hate myself
And in self pity then I sink
I want to put it all on a shelf

Then break the shelf and burn it
Like none of it ever happened
Or take the bastards out back
And cut them from end to end

Make them suffer, make them pay
But what good would that do
Cause really in the end
I still end up screwed

Screwed in the head
Completely torn apart
I'm damaged goods
With a broken heart

Broken Heart, Frantic Mind

Oh hear my cries
Do hear my pleas
Do hear my prayer
Jehovah please

Please heal this pain
Within my heart
Make it fade away
I need a fresh start

I've been hurt so badly
I went unprotected
How can I forget and just move on
For so long it went undetected

I don't want to be numb
but don't want to feel this
'this' is hell in my mind
that my heart can't dismiss

At this rate I'll never sleep
These wounds are far too deep
My sanity I just can't keep

Since they've sown
Then they should reap...

That Sound

The memories flood in
Will they ever end?
A single sound is all it takes
and then my heart aches...

Doesn't matter what I'm doing
or where I might be
The disgust and fear consume me

Anger then takes over
Takes forever to recover
The shame I feel is haunting
to speak of it is daunting

Chaos then ensues
My emotions are battered and bruised

I can't forgive them
Why should I
Even for my own good
How could I

Even though we've discussed it at length
They still don't know how it's scarred me
Why couldn't they just protect me
Why couldn't the men just leave me be

It's a daily occurrence to hear that sound
You'd think I'd just get used to it
But the second it enters my ear
I'm transported right back there

Right back to that time
Right back to that place
Where I'd have to see his disgusting face

I long for that day in Paradise
When it won't come into heart or be called to mind
I feel that I can't keep going on
But I know now that it won't be long

I'll have peace of mind
I'll be home-free
Then noone will ever again hurt me